| Flickering Friends: A Far Cry from a Fast Fix Posted: 11 Aug 2009 10:04 AM PDT
 Watching more TV is not the answer to building healthy relationships in children, teens, or adults. Parasocial Relationship Research Not What it Appears to Be These days you can’t go anywhere without seeing a television, an advertisement for a television program, or someone watching TV on their laptop or cell phone. We are very much a culture driven by our desire to be entertained and our need to be emotionally and relationally fulfilled. Unfortunately, it seems these areas are becoming increasingly merged together and all the more difficult to distinguish. Recent psychological research covered by Scientific American cites the latest attempt by scientists to alleviate symptoms of depression and loneliness in patients by promoting and increasing their regular television viewing. Many psychologists support their position by asserting that the parasocial relationships viewers often form with regular television show characters, particularly in reality TV programs, can be used to satiate relational needs altogether. In other words, there may be no need for real-world interpersonal interaction. Let’s face it. Everyone has their favorite TV programs. My own family of five is a diverse group made up of Trekkies, Outdoor Channel lovers, comedy fans, and romantics. While there is nothing wrong with television-viewing for entertainment purposes, wielding it as a “mental and emotional medicine” of sorts may be treading in dangerous waters. Besides the obvious dangers in social isolation, there are a slew of social, ethical, psychological, and even spiritual ramifications to be weighed and considered. Pastor Stan Givens of Northside Bible Church in Mobile, AL has been counseling and encouraging individuals struggling with depression and loneliness for more than twenty years. He recently voiced his perspective and thoughts on the issue: “If you get into a habit of letting television, or any kind of media, create a false sense of relationship and relational security and stability, you are deceiving yourself. People need to be in a healthy community. Whether it’s young people, children, young families, or adults, they need to be in a community full of people with diversity of relationships, so that they can learn relational skills through that community. They won’t learn relational skills by watching 22 minutes of a television show that’s meant to be entertaining and humorous.” Oftentimes Christians are guilty of elevating leading men and women of the Bible to places of lofty grandeur and supremacy. How quickly we forget that even the godliest of Scriptural saints struggled in many of the same areas we do. Perhaps there is no better example of a depression-laden, fear-filled, lonely man than the Bethlehem-born shepherd boy David. I know what you’re thinking: ‘Surely he isn’t referring to the Psalm-writing King of Israel, the ‘man after God’s own heart.’” Yes, the very same. Some of David’s darkest days are recorded in the book of 1 Samuel. Here we find him at rock bottom: he is jobless, homeless, wifeless, friendless, and to make matters worse, he is on the run. After his identity was revealed to his enemies the Philistines, David was forced to fake insanity and subtlety sneak out of the city of Gath (the hometown of a well-known giant named Goliath, by the way). Prior to these events, David had been living in the city of Gath and working for the king of Gath. Obviously, this behavior was not exactly becoming of a God-empowered leader and king. And out of his fear and depression, David chose to hide and ultimately isolate himself: “So David departed and escaped to the cave of Adullam…” 1 Samuel 22:1 (Amplified Bible) It would be here in this cave that God would reveal Himself to David in amazing ways, preparing him for the ultimate destiny that still lay ahead of him. But to do so, he had to send people into the cave; people for David to help and lead. To David, this would not have initially seemed like the answer to his life’s problems. He just wanted to be alone, remember? But David needed to be reminded of his gifts and passions and God knew it. He needed real, interpersonal relationships to pull him out of the deepest, darkest depression he had ever faced. Subconscious, parasocial relationships with television characters is certainly not the answer to the depression and loneliness issues faced by so many people the world over. “We already have a generation of young couples who prefer to spend more time chatting on the computer, rather than sitting in person and getting to know each other,” says Pastor Stan. “We also have a generation of young people who use the electronic world to keep them from having closer, interpersonal relationships. So, as long as the scientific community is promoting that, we are just making the problem much worse than it already is. We are going to end up with families that cannot last or stay together. We will see higher divorce rates, much more disturbed children, and parents who cannot even relate to their own families.” |
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